Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Another night, Another Embarrassing Moment

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I went to the Woman's Day, Red Dress Awards last night. An award show thingy to celebrate the people behind women's heart health and the Larry King Cardiac Foundation. And yes, Mr. King was there. So was his brother. It also kicked off fashion week. Whatev. A friend of mine produced the show and invited me, thinking that it would be fun. I brought my friend Joelle. And no, I didn't have a red dress to wear, like the majority of the women attending. Why? Because I refuse to go shopping. Refuse to spend money. And prefer to live in my jeans and work out clothes only to curse the day, myself, and my mother (just cuz) every time I have to actually 'get dressed' and don't have a good goddam thing to wear, which ultimately leaves me feeling like a failure, loser and naked.
Okay, so after listening to Robin Thicke, who someone in the biz called, “the soul-fullest white man in music”, Joan Osbourne and Solnage Knowles (Beyonce's little sister try to sing, and let me just say that at 22 years old, that girl should not have bags under eyes the size of Cleveland, Joelle and I hit the after party reception.
I had a couple of glasses of a champagne and rasberry cocktail and scarfed down a couple of cute, and heart healthy, mini turkey burgers. It had been a while since I ate anything substantial and those mini buns weren't going to soak up anything but the extra saliva in my mouth, so the cocktails went straight to my head. That's when it happened.
I saw an actor, that no one would've recognized but me, from an episode of Law& Order SVU, heading for the cupcake table where I happened to be standing. And then, without thinking, but knowing that the next few minutes were going to end up in a story, I went in. The following is the 5 minute or less exchange.
(literally grabbing his arm) Did you do an episode of SVU?
Dani hates playing the dumb blond. Of course she knows he was on the episode. Why else would she now be making an ass of herself?
ACTOR (smiling)
You were so good in that episode.
Thank you.
It's my favorite show. And that episode was particularly great. I’ve seen them all, so I know.
Champagne really kicking in, accompanied by the all too embarrassing red cheeks.
Thank you. What's your name?
I’m Jack. Nice to meet you.
Nice meeting you. Have you done another SVU?
Again, Dani knows for a fact that he hasn’t, and she presses on.
ME (cont’d)
I love how they keep rotating all of the same actors from the Law and Orders. It's like a theater repertory company.
Yeah, it's like the triumvirate. I've done the...
Dani spaces out because she can't believe that she's acting like a deranged Jonas Brothers fan.
I don't even watch the other ones. Only SVU. I'm a purist.
It's been two years, so I'm due for another one.
Do you want me to make a phone call? Who should I call?
Jack smiles nervously.
Yeah, well, it's such a great show. She's great. He's great.
And the writing's so good.
Jack nods.
And I love when they put some funny in.
Jack nods a little less enthusiastically.
(laughing to herself)
Yeah, I have this whole thing with Christopher Meloni.
We have so many connections, a two degree thing... we know a lot of the same people (trailing off).. Oh, my god, I sound like a stalker.
Well, thank you so much.
Yeah, no problem. Again, you're really good.
Oh, boy do I wish I could black that out. I know. You don't have to say it. I should be locked up and the key melted!
It could've been a lot worse. I could've approached the actress, Linda Dano (who I'm sure no one recognized but me) from the soap opera Another World, who was also in attendance, and told her that I met her when I was an intern at the show, in Brooklyn, in 1987. God knows where that conversation would've gone.

No comments: