Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Hey Moms, The Girlfriend Mom Needs Your Help!

A few posts ago, entitled, Losing It, I wrote about my boyfriend's son's friend, Robert, who asked me for cash so he could get a snack when we were at the movies. I thought this was a case of one kid being rude. I was wrong. I'm starting to think that it might be an epidemic that's infecting our children.

A similar situation happened two days later with another child. My boyfriend took his son and his son's friend, Peter, to a Red Bull's soccer game. I was fortunately otherwise engaged in a sleepover with a girlfriend in the Big Apple, thus enable to attend. When I got home, my boyfriend shared the days events.

In addition to the actual ticket to the game, the kids were generously supplied with snacks and some sort of Red Bull trinket, the likes of which usually break on the car ride home. My boyfriend told me that about halfway through the game, Peter asked him for, "some money to buy a hot dog." WHAT??? I am certain that that kid was fed. Who does this? That wasn't all. About fifteen minutes later, Peter asked,  "Are we leaving soon?" As I'm listening to my boyfriend tell this, my jaw is halfway down my neck. This kid's got elephantiasis of the nuts.

My boyfriend looked at Peter. "Yes, we're going to leave (hold for dramatic pause) WHEN THE GAME IS OVER!" I would've thrown the kid over the railing. Too much? I need to know what is going on with these kids.

It didn't stop there. Apparently, after my boyfriend had made them breakfast before they left for the soccer game, Peter sauntered into the kitchen and helped himself to two bananas. He didn't ask if he could have them. He simply made himself at home and took them. When my boyfriend asked him why he was taking two, Peter replied, "I need one for the road."

The boy just had breakfast! What did he need a potassium infusion for? He wasn't about to run a friggin' marathon. Please tell me why kids are not being taught manners. It can't just be Peter and Robert. I'm sure there are more out there and they just might be playing in your family room as you read this.

Are they spoiled? Are the parent's home supervising? Are the kids accustomed to having free reign of the house? Are there rules, boundaries and structure? How do they speak to adults? Do they think that they're all friends? It feels like someone is asleep at the wheel.

It's not my responsibility (nor do I care) what other kids do in their own homes, but when they're guests in mine, there are rules. And one rule is that you ask before you take something that doesn't belong to you. This is how I was raised, and it works. I can only plant seeds with The Girlfriend Mom kids, and bring it to the attention of their friends when it's warranted.

The whole business perplexes me. I am honestly looking for opinions and feedback from mom's who might have a take on this. Moms that have first hand experience with their kids and their kid's friends. What do you feel the problem might be? Do you think it is a problem?


debby Nerpel said...

I think after some time kids start to feel comfortable in their friends houses. My girls of course would never just take something without asking first but many have come in to my house and helped themselves. Truthfully I dont mind as long as they are pleasant kids. Better that they help themselves than constantly bug me. The asking to pay for things when out is not acceptable. Most kids I have spent time with and taken places bring money along.

lbw said...

i am with Debby...my kids friends are here regularly and i always have food on the counter...anyone's for the taking...the kids always add a 'thank you for the food' and usually a kind word about my baking...HOWEVER the money shtick is not cool...any kids we have ever taken anywhere even as an explicit guest ALWAYS come with money and and offer to pay for the basics and anything else...we are usually happy to pay because the manors are always so nice that you don't mind...i think many kids need to learn how to spell R E S P E C T and to have some appreciation...but rest assured the entitled behavior is not something they are born with...silver spoon or not...they learn this and are given the nod by their parents that it is okay..apple, tree, apple, tree!!