Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Great Toilet Seat Debate

Are you like me and feel that the whole, toilet seat up or down, argument that men and women have been engaged in since the late 1800's, is beyond hackneyed? Can anything actually be beyond hackneyed?

Anyway, last night, my boyfriend managed to put a whole new spin on this age old feud.

HIM: Can you keep the toilet seat up?
ME: Not really. It smells.

Side note. In our house, we live by the ol' adage (courtesy of yours truly), "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down." So you see, if the seat is up and it's yellow, it could be sitting there for a spell, and eventually that shits going to smell.

HIM: Then flush it more.
ME: No can do. That's not house policy. And it's wasteful.
HIM: It's really annoying, especially at night.
ME: Really?
Him: Yeah, it's dark and I have to bend down to lift the seat up. And you know I hate bending because of my back. 
ME: Well, I don't want you to hurt your back.
HIM: And it's extra bending for me because of my short arms.

I'm sorry but using the Cee Lo Green line of defense was simply too funny to argue with. If you don't know what I'm talking about. Regard!
Cee Lo on left... "My arms are too short to box with the toilet seat lid, yo."


Anonymous said...

At risk of being crude, mention your lady parts, which one assumes your BF enjoys from time to time, may get an unplanned bath if you fall in. His back may fix or arms may grow rather quickly after that pronouncement. Be sure to time it right!

Tara - said...

That is a new spin. I like Sophie's comment. :) Good luck with the debate!

lbw said...

i fell in a few weeks ago at was that a jolt to my half a sleep its cold in here all i want to do is pee and get back into bed self!!!

Lisa Gradess Weinstein said...

When my cat was a baby he almost fell in, now we all automatically close the seat, saves me from falling in!